Psychic Cameron Diaz Wants You To Know That You Will Definitely Be Cheated On, So Sorry About That

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Cameron Diaz stupid Bad Teacher

In case you were worried Cameron Diaz had stopped her impressive streak of “Okay, whatever you say buddy” statements, I'm pleased to inform you that she hasn't. I don't know when she appointed herself a wise old wizard who knows everything there is to know about vaginas and relationships and life in general, but she apparently did. And now she's here to inform us, in her wise wizardly way, that we will all be cheated on at some point.

That's right. If you're reading this, you either have been cheated on, will be cheated on in no time, or are being cheated on this very second. Even if your significant other is sitting right next to you and doesn't appear to be having sexual relations (or even sextual relations) with anyone, it's probably just happening through telepathy or something. You've been warned. Here's what Cameron told the British OK! magazine in relation to her new movie The Other Woman, which happens to be about cheating:

“Everybody has been cheated on, everyone will be cheated on. I can't fix that, I don't know how, I don't have any judgement on anybody, I don't know how to fix the problem.”

Thanks for informing us that we can't trust anyone (even ourselves, even you???), Cameron Diaz, and double thanks for letting us know there's no solution. You're the best. I'm pretty much the most cynicalest cynic to ever cynic, especially about romance, and even I read that quote and was like, “Wow, what a Negative Nancy.”

But that's not the only befuddling statement Cameron made in this interview. She also wants us to know that her purpose in making a movie about women being cheated on is that she doesn't want to make movies about women being cheated on… or something:

“My statement is that I am actually not interested in making movies about men cheating on women; it's not at all what I am interested in.”

So… are you just a hologram in this movie? Or is that a cryptic way of saying that the movie actually isn't about cheating at all, and we've all been duped by the trailer and the plot synopsis and the interview you're giving about how everyone will be cheated on? Help me out here, Cam.

(GIF: Tumblr)