Bunheads Now Has Me Concerned That Everyone Is On Drugs

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By now, it's clear that the Bunheads town of Paradise is straight up crazy. Not quite Tom Cruise crazy, but close. I mean, nothing is normal from the way Michelle gets there to the fact that she's now living with her deceased husband's mom Fanny. This entire concept makes about as much sense as the actions of someone on bath salts. And by that I mean, it doesn't. At all. So I'm not even going to tell you what happened this week because it's irrelevant. Some stuff happened.

What is important, however, is that the dancers (who haven't been paying Fanny) perform for like almost a whole two minutes. The performance is called “Paper or Plastic” and is a commentary on the evils of grocery store cashiers killing the environment. Or something. But essentially, everyone is on acid. Except Michelle because it's clear that she thinks this performance is completely stupid, and she is perfectly content just being drunk all the time. I like her.

But really everyone walks around this town as if everything they do is normal, and it isn't! Everyone has quirks, I get that. This is just getting ridiculous. From the druggies that run the local dive bar to the obviously coked up police officers who don't put up a sign on a private road, this town has an insane drug problem. Fanny is on quaaludes, which explains why she naps and meditates so damn much. Truly is snorting Adderall, which explains her constant peppy behavior and get-shit-done attitude. Sasha is on coke, which explains her bitchy demeanor and why she's so skinny. I feel like Boo is chugging bottles of DayQuil because she's not into the hard stuff. The rest of the town is sampling a myriad of pills and combinations. I'm waiting for them to actually try bath salts and go all Walking Dead on each other.

I don't want to subject you to this performance, but I need you all to understand what I'm talking about. Please crush an Ambien or take some shrooms if you actually want to get a grasp for what the hell is going on.


(Photo Credit: ABC Family)