Bunheads Suggests Dancers Have A High Alcohol Tolerance

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Bunheads Suggests Dancers Have A High Alcohol Tolerance Bunheads Alcohol jpg

Well, Bunheads is certainly getting more interesting since Hubbell signed all of his assets over to Michelle. And by assets I mean seven acres, house with a beach-front view, lake, two ponds, dance studio, guest house and more. Yeah, Hubbell was effing loaded. Still not sure what he did really. Whatever. Fanny is now in shock over this news that Michelle could basically kick her out of her own home…so I guess the grief over Hubbell’s death is over for now. Michelle and Fanny fight (obvi, they are mother and daughter-in-law) and Michelle ends up breaking down in Hubbell’s old, fancy car. But she breaks down on a private road with no signs which means the tow truck can’t tow it, she gets arrested for trespassing, “sprung free” by Fanny and then marches up to the house of said private road to talk to some guy named Bill. Bill is actually Grant who has a lot of money, wine, and a date. Sasha as usual is a total see you next Tuesday, but we learn it’s because her parents don’t pay attention to her. Again, very little dancing is involved.

However, there is lots of drinking! This is starting to be my kind of show. I mean, in the first five minutes Michelle breaks out the alcohol and does two shots. Homegirl can accompany me to a bar anytime. Now, we’ve seen this in the past few episodes as well. Getting wasted is kind of how Michelle ended up in Paradise anyway.

She got drunk on her pseudo-date with Hubbell and got hitched. YOLO, right?! (Please slap me if I continue saying that because I just can’t stop. )She also downs a lot at the wedding party and then her and Fanny get their frat on at the bar. After Hubbell dies, Michelle posts up at the bar for a while and nearly drinks a whole fifth of tequila. Can you hear me slow clapping?

During Michelle’s run-in with the mysterious Grant, he decants some wine which takes a really, really long time. I was actually thinking, “Is that just a wine bottle-shaped box of wine?” because it took so long to pour into that decanting contraption. When Michelle gets back home to Fanny to discuss the situation, she decants some wine. And she tells Fanny, “We’re going to get really drunk.” I love this character. I never not loved her, but this moment defined how much I love her.

I’m honestly impressed with Michelle’s high tolerance. Seriously, if we’re going by dancer stereotypes, dancers are small and don’t eat and therefore are cheaper dates if you catch my drift. Let me explain before the trolls bite my head off: I am a naturally small person. I’m almost 110 soaking wet with rolls of quarters in my pockets. But my tolerance is a well-crafted art of my college career, and I am no longer a dancer. Logically, if Michelle were a serious dancer (Vegas showgirl or not) she probably wouldn’t drink as much as she did, and she certainly wouldn’t have the ridiculously high tolerance that she does. Not to say it’s a bad thing though. I love this part of her character because it makes her more relatable and honest as a person. Like me, she resorts to alcohol when she’s feeling blue or when she’s trying to have a discussion with a difficult woman. Dancers are people too! Does she have a problem? Well, maybe.

But we’re only on the third episode, and I’m not sure our relationship is quite ready for me to judge her yet. Really though, Michelle makes the show with her wit and charm and yes, she is Lorelai Gilmore in dance form. Substitute the dance studio for the inn, the bar for Luke’s, and Paradise for Stars Hollow and you’ve got yourself Gilmore Girls with less plot. I’m intrigued by Michelle’s apparent alcohol crutch and since she’ll be staying in the guest house, I wonder what shenanigans she’ll get into next time.

Until then, I’m going to take a page from the book of Michelle and go drink by myself. DON’T JUDGE ME.