Brooke Hogan Gets Naked In A Cage For PeTA

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Celebuspawn Brooke Hogan is the latest in a long line of celebrities (using the term loosely) to get naked for ostensibly animal rights related reasons. In a complete and utter parody of itself, PeTA put on a benefit art show un-ironically titled “Women In Cages,” featuring (you guessed it) photos of naked women in cages. They are nothing if not consistent.

Now, I don't have any problem with women posing for sexy photos, but I will never understand why PeTA thinks said photos are going to make people care about animals. The types of people most likely to go vegan–liberal, hippie, compassionate, feminist types–are not generally the kinds of people who want to see photos of blonde, conventionally attractive women getting naked and pretending to be kitty cats. That sort of looks like a picture of the patriarchy to them. Conversely, the Maxim crowd to whom these photos appeal most are not about to give up their wings on game day. Not without a concrete offer of poontang, at least.

Then there's the argument that these photos elicit compassion by saying, “well, you wouldn't want to see this stuff done to a person, so why is it okay to do it to an animal?” But in order to show what actually happens to a factory farmed animal, they'd have to wipe that horny look off Brooke's face and cover her in urine and feces, pump her full of antibiotics, infect her with some kind of sore causing skin disease, and rip her nose off with no anesthetic (if she's pretending to be a chicken). Therefore, I call bullshit on this argument. And just because someone cares about humans, doesn't necessarily mean they care about animals. Shouldn't it be enough just to educate people about what the actual animals go through, and let them decide how they feel about it?

I've been a vegan for eight years and a vegetarian for fourteen, because hey, meat is murder. I often write about sex. I watch porn semi-regularly, and I've posed for naked pictures myself. If these photos don't appeal to me, I'm not sure they have much hope with anyone. I will say, however, that I appreciate how they made her hand disappear into her shadowy vaginal area like that. What's that hand doing down there? The ambiguity, it is classy.

Oh, and here's the other one: