5 Things I Witnessed Watching Britney Spears Perform In Las Vegas

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britney spears concert dancing in vegasNow that Britney Spears residency in Las Vegas is on hiatus, I'm sure you're searching for some fresh intel on her show to keep you satisfied until she returns with yet another hair color change . Well no worries, because I have it! How? Well I actually went to see her show in Las Vegas.

After hearing all the rumors that spread so quickly after the start of her residency, I couldn’t wait to see what was true, what was false, and most commonly, what I still don’t have answers for. Is she lip-synching (duh), did she spray-on her own abs (what?), is she actually a robot with mediocre abilities at impersonating a human (maybe)? As someone who was up close and personal to all that is Britney Spears and her freak show, let’s set the record straight.

Does Britney lip syncs throughout the show?

Not that this will shock anyone, but as the official eyewitness at the show I'm pretty sure she lip syncs. She didn’t spectacularly fail at faking it at the show I attended, but anyone can tell by the sound of her voice playing that it’s right off a CD. You don’t hear any changes in breath despite her crazy choreography or any ad-libbing to surprise us in the songs. It’s classic Britney through and through.

Are her abs painted on?

Prior to my show, there were a bunch of rumors concerning painted-on abdominal muscles. But I didn't see one abdominal muscle — real or otherwise. Why? Well she has four costume changes throughout the show and each of the outfits she wore when I attended conveniently covered her midsection. So this one remains a mystery.

Does an unsuspecting victim really get brought up on stage?

When Britney performs the song “Freakshow”, her dancers select a member of the audience to come perform on stage with them. So many celebrities have come to support her residency that Mario Lopez, Nicole Richie, and Spears’ boyfriend David Lucado, have all been her little freaks at some point. This obviously raised suspicions that even non-famous guests are premeditated plants. Though I can’t guarantee it, the guy they selected during my show did not seem prepared to perform at all — or good enough at acting to feign confusion. Britney also didn’t know who he was until she asked his name and autographed a t-shirt for him at the end. Though it's safe to say she probably doesn't know who most people are.

Is Britney's Army  just as fierce as you'd expect?

Having a best friend who refers to Britney as “Godney” regularly, we had to get tickets in the GA pit area, which truly represents the underbelly of Britney’s Army. All your assumptions about their extreme devotion to her are true. That being said, I assumed the pit audience was going to be very hostile and perhaps, a bit catty, to be able to get as close to Britney as possible. But everyone was totally kind to one another, nearly scaring me into believing we were at some One Love reggae concert instead.

But really, is Britney a robot?

At the start of the show her eyes were deadpan, and it seemed like she was counting choreography in her head as she demanded us to work, bitch. But as it continued and got into her older music, she seemed to be more comfortable and maybe even 35% happy. There is also no question that she is still an AMAZING dancer. During her first set, I was a bit unimpressed with the choreography, but when she did a medley of “Me Against the Music”, “Gimme More”, “Break the Ice”, and “Piece of Me”, she absolutely KILLED IT. It was then I was reminded of why we watch Britney perform.

Despite how ridiculous this character we know as Britney Spears is, there’s a reason she has a residency in Vegas at only 32-years-old. No matter how much hate she gets, how sheltered she is from the rest of the world or how many times she dyes her hair in a month, her fans are the most loyal. While Britney isn’t someone I listen to as an artist for an original sound, she delivers what we all expect from her anyways. It almost makes me sad to see how oddly aware she is that she will probably be in a bubble for the rest of her life, but I’m sure as more susceptible people like myself continue to buy her tickets, she will laugh as she bounces in that bubble to the bank.