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Out Of Every Outrageous Stunt Breaking Amish Has Pulled, Abe’s Mother Is The Most Offensive

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Abe's Mother Breaking Amish

Stop Breaking Amish, just stop. I'm used to the way you twist and turn the truth every single week, but continuing to pretend like Abe's mother is anything except a famehound's absolutely ridiculous. No, not ridiculous, infuriating. Ever since she first appeared on season one, I had my doubts about her. But now that she's living in the house with a bunch of ex-Amish adults who are currently in hot water with the Amish community, it's confirmed. There's no way she's as religious as she claims to be in the show.

However let me back up and discuss the episode real fast in case you missed it. And/or got as distracted as I did by the idea that Abe's mother's pretending like she's there for Abe's salvation — and not for fame. So Jeremiah's girlfriend's still there, lingering around and causing trouble. Naturally she gets in a fight with Sabrina and surprisingly Kate gets to play the calm and rational person. But not for long. While out at a dinner post-fight, Rebecca starts drinking alcohol because she's 21 now. Kate's all, “ummm it's pretty two-faced of you to drink alcohol when last year you made such a big deal about me drinking.” Rebecca responds with an apology — rather than an insult thankfully — and Kate has no choice but to pretend she didn't want to start dramas. She's like, “totally, let's put the past in the past and not talk about the fact that no one liked me last season!” At first I felt blindsided by how quickly the drama got averted, then I realized that's only because they need as much time as possible for Abe's mother.

She and Katie Ann have finally arrived in Florida and are moving into the house (after getting uncomfortably close to making some extremely racist remarks to strangers). You know, just until Abe figures out that he still wants to be Amish. FOOLPROOF PLAN! While the girls pretend like this is totally normal and cool, Jeremiah throws a temper tantrum. He's like “I came here to get away from my mother, not get a new mother.” Which makes me sad, because he does seem like the kind of 30-something-old man who would have a love/hate relationship with his mother. Like he'd be cool with her ironing his clothing, but would throw something at her for asking him to pick up his socks or stop watching porn in the living room.

But yeah everyone else acts like this is totally normal behavior for an Amish mother. They even take her and Katie Ann out to drink and dance. Despite the fact that Rumspringa exists in the Amish community, Abe's mother says she's never drank or danced before. Sure that's possible, but I'm pretty skeptical based on everything we know about Rumspringa. Also this entire plot makes no sense considering that she's extremely concerned about getting shunned by her community — hypothetically the only community she has — yet takes her daughter and herself to live with heathens. As we've discussed before, it seems like the best way not to get shunned is to not do everything you're not allowed to do ON CAMERA. Then again, what do I know? I sided with Jeremiah on this issue and that makes me cringe more than anything else.

(Photo: DCL, TLC)