Brandi Glanville Bought Herself A New Vagina On Eddie Cibrian’s Dime After Discovering He’d Cheated
Good news for people who love hearing about other people's personal shit! If you thought Brandi Glanville was prone to saying inappropriate things now, just wait until you get an eyeful of her new book, the aptly named Drinking and Tweeting and Other Brandi Blunders. Life & Style has published an excerpt, and it is just a delight.
In it, she talks some more about that homewrecker LeAnn Rimes and how she ruined her marriage (shocker!), and you can't say her language is not evocative:
LeAnn had ‘accidentally’ smeared some cake frosting on her top (she was still a bigger girl and completely flat-chested at the time) and asked my husband, not realizing that I was standing behind the both of them, if he wanted lick it off her. This woman asked my husband if he wanted to eat the frosting mess she’d dropped on her nonexistent chest? … He hadn’t realized I was there, either, and he laughed with hungry eyes at the suggestion.
HUNGRY EYES, he had. Where was Brandi standing that she could see his hungry eyes but he couldn't see her? Was she hiding behind a curtain? And don't you think it's a little rude to criticize how someone's body looks and her public struggles with an eating disorder? I feel like you kind of have to pick one.
But the best part so far is definitely the way she decided to take “revenge” on Eddie by having her vagina cut up and sewn back together in a more porntastic way on his dime:
Of course, she got her revenge — by way of vaginal rejuvenation. “This pretty intense surgery had an even more intense price tag: $12,000,” Brandi reveals. “A brand-new vagina would be an Eddie-free vagina…. I decided that since Eddie had ruined my vagina for me, he could pay for a new one. I gave [the doctor's office] Eddie's credit card number.”
Everyone knows that vaginal rejuvenation is the best revenge. But why stop there? Eddie has presumably gotten LeAnn Rimes' whore juice on Brandi's whole body and not just her vagina, so she should probably have all her limbs replaced with mechanical parts, just to be safe.
(Via Life & Style)