Bradley Cooper Went To His 20th High School Reunion, Left Suki With A Sitter

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You know how people stress about going to their high school reunions? Because maybe you've gained weight, or you don't feel you're ass successful as you wanted to be, or you're worried about reverting back into your high school self, crippling self-esteem issues and all? Well I wish I could tell you that those fears were unfounded, but I can't — because sometimes you go to your twenty-year high school reunion and Bradley Cooper is there.

I mean, sure. You knew that you went to high school with Bradley, because you both attended Germantown Academy in Fort Washington, Pennsylvania, but you never in a million years thought he'd come back for a reunion. No one does that! Especially no one famous! And now as a result, you're not the most successful dude at the reunion anymore, or even the most attractive, or the person with the most Oscar nominations…because BRADLEY COOPER RUINS EVERYTHING.

One thing he didn't ruin, though, was the vibe. He didn't bring his girlfriend Suki Waterhouse, and I can think of a couple reasons why not. A. At age twenty or twenty-one (the internet won't tell me which), she was either a wee infant baby or not even born yet when Bradley graduated in 1993. Or there's also B. They're not a real couple. The nice thing about being in a fakelationship is that you can leave your buddy wherever you want while you go do your own thing. You can put her in an overhead storage bin or leave her with a sitter or give her a bucket of quarters and put her in front of a pinball machine, and she'll be happy as a clam for hours. Leaving you free to casually roam about Pennsylvania in your Eagles hat, suede coat, jeans, and boots.

According to people who saw him, Bradley apparently traveled without security and seemed really friendly and happy to be there. He attended a 30 – 45 person gathering at MaGerk's Pub & Grill, went to a football game with fellow alum and Bones actor Brian Klugman, took photos with classmates, and toured the school, checking in with former teachers.

All in all, much too much excitement for young Suki. Maybe next year, girl — when you're old enough to drink.