You’ll Never Watch A More Hilariously Awkward Brad Pitt Interview Than This One In Your Life

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You ll Never Watch A More Hilariously Awkward Brad Pitt Interview Than This One In Your Life Brad Pitt Between Two Ferns png

You could spend the rest of your life trying to find a more awkward Brad Pitt interview than his recent Between Two Ferns interview with Zach Galifianakis, but you probably shouldn’t. It would be a waste of your time, which would undoubtedly be better spent figuring out a way to invent a Hot Pocket whose cheese doesn’t seep out onto your microwave plate. No one would say that you failed at your life’s mission; in fact, you’d be lauded as an international hero, unlike that guy who thinks it’s a good idea to devote his life to finding a Brad Pitt interview that makes you more uncomfortable than this one. For one thing, you’d have a tough time, considering how infrequently the guy agrees to interviews. And secondly, no one beside Zach could get an interview this hilariously awkward from anyone, let alone Brad.

Let me just set the scene for you, if I may. Within the first few seconds, you become acquainted with Brad’s creepstache, which, um, no thanks. It’s a cinematic technique employed by Brad Pitt’s upper lip to foreshadow the awkwardness that is to come. He’s got a really advanced upper lip, which is suspected to have gotten that way from its repeated contact with Angelina Jolie’s upper lip. No one knows how hers got that way, but for my stomach’s sake, let’s just say that neither her brother nor Billy Bob Thornton had anything to do with that.

Oh, and speaking of famous exes, Jennifer Aniston gets brought up in this interview! You remember her, right? That lady he cheated on, dividing the nation into Team Jen and Team Angie. I just can’t remember if that happens before or after Brad and Zach exchange the same piece of chewed gum several times. I know that it came before Brad shot a chewed gum rocket into Zach’s face. But I can’t say for certain if it preceded Louis C.K. very uncomfortably interrupting the interview with some impromptu standup or the host of other weird things that they managed to squeeze into a little over five minutes.

Basically what I’m saying is that it’s all a blur because my brain was too busy making me laugh and cringe simultaneously that it had no energy to store memories. I guess I’ll just watch it again and laugh-cringe for a little while longer.