Danny Tanner And Topanga Are In A ’90s Nostalgia Feud You Didn’t Ask For

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Bob Saget The Scleroderma Research Foundation's Cool Comedy April 2013

I know you woke up this morning thinking about your days watching TGIF on ABC and wondering why the restaurant TGI Friday's had to name itself that and give you a side of “realizing you're not a kid anymore” with your mozzarella sticks. I know you also probably started thinking about how there aren't enough feuds between the cast members of those classic shows. Oh, you didn't? Well too bad, because your non-dreams are coming true today. Bob Saget, aka Full House dad Danny Tanner, aka donkey erection storyteller extraordinaire, is now in a feud with Danielle Fishel, aka Boy Meets World‘s Topanga Lawrence. See, Danielle told Maxim an unflattering story about Bob:

“One time we were all on a private jet going to Disney World, and my mom, dad, and brother were also with me … Anyway, we were trying to take a nap, and all of a sudden Bob Saget walks down the aisle, rips open our curtain, and shouts, ‘Do you guys have any coke?!’ Then he looks my dad in the eye, laughs, and closes the curtain. My mom was like, ‘What was that all about?’”

Well, Bob Saget wasted no time responding to this matter. Just kidding, he took ridiculously long to respond to it, since that quote appeared in the magazine back in March and I had honestly totally forgotten it, even though I wrote about it. But Bob did indeed respond, and to Maxim itself no less:

“What show was she on? “Big Chest, Small Wonder?” Saget said. “She's kind of like Bilbo Baggins, very tiny.”

Okay, first of all, that's not even an insult. Bilbo Baggins is awesome. Second of all, I'm not sure Bob should really be suggesting Danielle Fishel is some kind of has-been whose show no one remembers, since she's starring in a sequel to that show and all I've heard from Bob Saget lately is his donkey penis story.

He also said:

“How old is that girl now anyway? Isn’t she like 60? I don’t know how old she was when she did the show, but I’ll always tell the judge she was 18.”


But Bob wasn't done:


“The whole thing was as simple as me going to the restroom and throwing out a one-liner,” Saget explained. “I was always making jokes; that's what I did…I wouldn't expect someone to understand it if they don't get that kind of humor.”


But in a twist, Danielle tweeted at Maxim writer Patrick Carone explaining that they edited the quote to make it seem like less of a joke:

So I close by asking, can Maxim maybe clarify all this instead of just serving as a venue for '90s nostalgia word-fights? While I try to make sense of all this, I'll leave you with Stephanie Tanner's reaction, and I think she speaks for all of us:

Stephanie Tanner How Rude gif

(Photo: FayesVision/WENN.com, GIF: Tumblr)