Let’s Time Travel Back to 2004, Because Avril Lavigne Is Dating Ryan Cabrera
When Avril Lavigne started dating (and then married) Deryck Whibley of pop-punk band Sum 41, I thought they were the most perfect coupling in the entire universe. After all, he was a sk8er boi, she was a girl… can I make it anymore obvious?
They just seemed too perfect for each other. Both Canadian, both with a penchant for crazy hairstyles, both pop-punk royalty. It was a match made in plaid pants heaven.
But alas, their love fizzled (so much for their happy ending..) and they divorced. But then! Avril began dating an even MORE perfect person for her. Insert Chad Kroeger, of pop-rock band Nickelback.
I swore up and down that THIS was the world's most perfect pairing. Again, both Canadian, both loved frosty highlights, and both wrote extra cheesy music that only a brave few would ever admit to liking…
(actual Nickelback lyric: S is for the simple need
E is for the ecstasy
X is just to mark the spot
‘Cause that's the one you really want)
So I again believed that Avril had truly found her match. But then.. oh and then.. they announced their separation. (Why'd you have to go and make things so COMPLICATED?!)
Now, we're in 2015, and Avril is allegedly dating the guy who DEFINITELY is her match made in heaven. Remember Ryan Cabrera?! Come on, I know you do…
Ryan is most known for …well, not much since 2004. But in 2004, he was kind of a big deal — he dated Ashlee Simpson and he wrote this beautiful song in her honor:
He appeared on her reality show (The Ashlee Simpson Show, don't act like you didn't watch it, girl.) and he had a few popular jamz at the time. Plus, that spiky hair made all the ladies swoon. The ladies that weren't edgy enough to shop at Hot Topic alone, but still wanted a guy with some cred. Well, Ryan kinda disappeared until he “dated” Audrina Patridge for a few episodes of The Hills in 2010. He still makes music, apparently, and is also dating Avril Lavigne.
The two have been spotted out together a few times this fall, most recently over the weekend in Los Angeles. Here they are back in October, picking pumpkins like any ‘ol normal couple.
Here's why Ryan is actually perfect for Avril: One, he's not Canadian. Nothing against Canadians, but clearly she hasn't had much success with them romantically. Two, he's the perfect hybrid of Chad and Deryck. He's a bit softer than Deryck, and a bit edgier than Chad. His music sucks less than Nickelback's, but more than Sum 41's. And he's blonde, which is her thing, but also enjoys very big hats (see above). I think it may be love, guys. Only time will tell if she wants to be his girlfriend.
Now excuse me while I whip out my first-generation iPod and play my Ashlee Simpson/Ryan Cabrera/Avril Lavigne playlist to mourn the fact that my boyfriend dumped me right before my sweet 16 party and now I'll have to change my AIM profile to remove his name.