Anne Hathaway’s Favorite Person To Disparage In The Press Is Anne Hathaway

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hugh jackman salute 2 111212Guys, serious question: what does Anne Hathaway have against Anne Hathaway? I don't know if it's because she's hungry or because her mind is so sweet and precious that she can't speak ill of anyone but herself, but she cannot stop laying down the shit-talk on the subject of Anne Hathaway. The newest thing is that she's commenting to Harper's Bazaar that she has ‘no sex appeal'.

Welp. That's true. I don't want to do it with Anne Hathaway. Thank you for pointing that out, Anne. I will now mentally uncast you from every movie I've ever seen you in and any future projects you might've been suited for. Just sit quietly and take the compliments, Anne! Everyone really likes you in everything, so keep your adorable mouth closed and show up at the awards shows. All that's required from you as of this moment is that you play the role of a silent Hollywood geisha, blushing and nodding behind your fan. Also you can start to eat more food, because I think myself and the rest of the world's bloggers have officially heard enough about your diet.

But I haven't yet heard enough about how surprisingly uncool you are, so let's talk about that, yeah? Yeah.

“I’m not Rihanna; I’m not cool. When people come up to me in the street, they often want a hug not a photo, and they want that because they like my work.”

Oh man, Anne, that's the worst. I hate being respected for the quality of my work instead of how many guys wanna put it in me. That sucks. But at least you're taken seriously as an actress, right? Yes? NO?!?

“For a long time it was me and [my manager] against the world. I was seen as this bizarre-world good girl cartoon that I in no way identified with — very vanilla, very sweet, very accessible and not interesting. I had no grit, no sex appeal.”

That is unbelievable, Anne. Just unbelievable. I'm so glad you're opening up to me over hummus flakes and warm spores, I feel like we're just a coupla girls again. How do you feel about your acting competition?

“It doesn’t help that that new crop of girls is so gorgeous, and so 22 years old. But I’m excited about [being 30]. I figured out a lot of things that work for me; I have the love thing figured out. He walks into a room, and I light up, I can’t help it.”

Sigh. Our lives are so identical, Anne! Except that you're 30-years old, married, and a movie star, and it might be time to stop being so goddamn breathless over your very own life.

(Image: C. Smith / WENN.com)