Anger Management: An Unfunny Ode to Charlie Sheen

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Charlie Sheen must have friends in high places. Or, more likely, friends who are high. After all, who else would give a chance to a coked-out actor who has been the topic of too many tabloid headlines? Someone at FX, that's who.

Last night Sheen returned to the small screen with Anger Management. IMDB describes the show as the “TV-sitcom version of the 2003 film by the same name.” I, however, would describe it as the sitcom version of Sheen's life, with a sprinkling of story lines from other roles.

The story starts where Sheen's career stopped; him screaming at a higher up on the set of Two-and-a-Half Men. At least, that's what it looks like. Beach background. Wooden floors. Bright lights. Yeah. I'm fairly sure they filmed this show while Two-and-a-Half men went on break. All they need is a pint-sized pre-teen. Oh wait, they have that too.

In the opening scene, Sheen even goes as far to insinuate that he's winning. Really buddy? Come up with some original content.

Everything about this show screams Two-and-a-Half Men which, in its prime, was a witty show. But does the world really need to watch Sheen have sex with far-too-young women and be full of himself again? I think not. More importantly, should people pay Sheen to play this role when, given a few weeks he will act this way in real life.   Just look at the similarities.

1. Both Charlies have anger issues.

Real-life Charlie has made headlines multiple times for his outbursts. Hell, he's even had them auto-tuned. AM Charlie also has quite the temper. Or he did when he played professional baseball. So much so, that he broke a bat on his knee when he couldn't catch a foul ball. Luckily for the real Charlie, his outbursts only made him more famous.

2. Both Charlies are womanizers.

Each Charlie has screwed their share of ladies. They even screw the same type of girls — dumb, young, and big boobed. At least AM Charlie tries to go for the slightly classier chicks. Well, at least one — his psychiatrist and neighbor played by Selma Blair. Oh Selma, has your career gone so far down the toilet that you're willing to sleep with Charlie Sheen?! Shame on you my '90s darling!

3. Both Charlies are full of themselves.

Every other line out of these guys' mouths is about how amazing they are, whether it's with the women or with their careers. Too bad it's all in their heads.

4. Both Charlies lack any humor.

It turns out the humor on Two-and-a-Half Men came from Chuck Lorre and not Charlie Sheen. I know, you're not that surprised. But the creators of Anger Management must have been surprised when Sheen couldn't bring any comedic skills to the set.

Even true television talents like Barry Corbin and Kerri Kenney couldn't keep the show entertaining. This show isn't worth the TiVo space. You're better off waiting for Sheen's next meltdown.

(Photo: NYDN)