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I Don’t Disagree With The Bachelorette Guy Who Called Andi Out For Having Sex With Him

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Andi Dorfman and Nick on the finale of The Bachelorette season 10 July 2014Finally, after twenty-eight seasons of The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, someone has finally done that thing we've all been waiting for — spilled the beans on what went down in the Fantasy Suite.

It was jilted finalist Nick, who took his feelings of rejection and turned them into a big old truth bomb that he used to blow up Andi Dorfman‘s spot on live television. Apparently he had been trying to get in touch with Andi ever since she sent him home during the finale taping, and she had refused any and all contact for two months. So he had all these questions burning up inside him for that whole time, and one of them burst out of him last night:

“Knowing how in love with you I was…if you weren't in love with me…I”m just not sure why, like why you made love with me.”

Eeeeep! It was pretty much a foregone conclusion in my mind that people had sex in the Fantasy Suites (I mean c'mon, it's an overnight date and the description is right there in the name of the room), but this is the first real confirmation we've had of it. And on camera, no less! You could really feel how shocked everybody was that Nick had said that. The audience didn't make a single sound, and after a moment of stunned silence, Andi grimaced her way through this response:

“Well first of all, I think that's a little below the belt. I think that's something that's private and should be kept private.”

See, that's the tough thing, though. I understand and agree that it's uncomfortable for an entire nation of people to suddenly be privy to the knowledge that Andi had sex with a man not her fiance just a few days before said fiance proposed, but that's kind of the nature of the beast, here.

Sure, sex and the people you choose to have it with is a private thing, but you chose to make this process public! From what Chris Harrison said, Nick had been trying to have a one-on-one conversation with Andi for months, and she had chosen to see him for the first time on After The Final Rose, knowing that he might have some questions. I'm not saying I agree with his decision to bring it up, but I do understand it.

Because when else was he gonna get the opportunity to question you about it? Nick spent that day and that night thinking that Andi was going to be his wife, and if he'd known that things weren't going to go his way, he might have acted differently. I mean, we've all been in that situation, where we feel like we've been left hanging, right? I'm just assuming that none of us was in front of a studio audience when we got our one and only opportunity to address those feelings with the person who caused them. I don't know that I would have done any better than Nick, given the same circumstances.

But regardless of my sympathy for Nick's really shitty situation, I want to be clear that as embarrassed and angry that Andi might be, she doesn't actually have anything to apologize for. I hope you'd sleep with a person before deciding whether you wanted to be engaged to them! I wouldn't think any less of her no matter how many guys on the show Andi got down with — the only thing that bothers me is her lack of compassion for someone like Nick, whose feelings about sex are different than her own. You don't need to apologize for hurting said feelings, but acknowledging your role and taking responsibility would be a huge step in the right direction.

Especially since when the situation was reversed and it was Juan Pablo Galavis being cavalier about the feelings of the female contestants on his season, we couldn't wait to turn on him (I sure couldn't), so why is it different the other way around?

I don't know guys, I guess this is just what happens when we have a bunch of relationships at once and streamline them down to a matter of weeks and then put them on television. THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS.

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