Amy Poehler Forces Me To Ask ‘What’s The Point In Being Famous If You Still Have To Go To Chuck E. Cheese?’

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Amy Poehler Forces Me To Ask  What s The Point In Being Famous If You Still Have To Go To Chuck E  Cheese  Amy Poehler Abel Arnett 2012 jpgWhile I think it’s totally adorable that Amy Poehler pulled a muggle and took her son Abel Arnett to Chuck E. Cheese, I also think it’s very weird. Mostly because she’s way too famous to have to be subjected to places with ball pits. And grown men in mouse costumes.

There are so many wonderful benefits to being famous. The biggest obviously is knowing that one day you could be asked to star on Dancing with the Stars. (Or maybe, if you’re like really lucky, Splash.) The second biggest benefit would be that you don’t have to do things that normals do with their kids. If you want your kids to get the feeling of Chuck E. Cheese without the feeling that they’re seconds away from contracting pink eye, you can afford to build a mini-amusement-park in your backyard. And you can hire appropriate-aged children to play with your kids too. Unless of course you liked that there was always one child-free older guy at Chuck E. Cheese hogging the skeeball machine and fighting with the 16-year-olds who work there over how many plastic rulers his tickets could really buy him.

The first thing I would do if I was famous would be to get hypnosis and forget those places ever existed. Sure you have great childhood memories there, but you probably also have that one memory of the last time you went when you were a little too old. The time you started to notice that the pizza tasted like cardboard and that the jungle gym smelled like a diaper and the prizes looked like they couldn’t cost more than 2 cents.

So Amy Poehler, step-mom-of-my-dreams, you don’t need to go to Chuck E. Cheese anymore. Congrats, your fame earned you the ultimate privilege. You know what you also don’t have to do? Go to the mall on the weekend. Stand in line at Trader Joe’s where it says “line starts here.” Listen to the dressing room rules about how many items you can take with you. Pretend you like dancing in the rain and so, so much more!

(Photo: Wenn.com)