The Trailer For American Hustle Doesn’t Have A Single Good Hairstyle In It

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Bradley Cooper in American Hustle October 2013 trailerA new trailer for American Hustle has arrived, and there are two main things I have noticed. First of all, there are only five people in it, and they're all bigtime famous humans. (Actually, a child does sneak in there too for one second, but I'm not counting it.) And second of all, this trailer is full to the brim with 70s hairstyles, and not a single one of them should ever show their faces out-of-doors.

You've got fat Christian Bale with a comb-over, an ice cream sundae of hair poised to topple off of Jennifer Lawrence‘s head, and Bradley Cooper literally lining his scalp with tiny curlers. It's a lot, you guys. I guess now that I think about it, Amy Adams and Jeremy Renner have pretty standard situations up top, but the other three are more than impressive enough to cancel them out.

But no matter what your main takeaway from the trailer is, I still can't decide how I'm gonna feel about this movie itself. It's David O'Russell, who doesn't really need to explain himself because Silver Linings Playbook was so great, but there's a lot that's weird about it as well. There's the fact that J-Law and B-Coop don't have sex in it, for one, even though we already knew that, but namely that it opens on December 25th of this year.

For one thing, I wouldn't expect Christmas Day to be a big movie day, but for another, isn't that pretty late in the Oscar season? That's like…five days before the end of the year, so there's a good chance people will have already made up their minds, right? I don't know anything, I just want someone to get in either a time machine or a screening room (or both) so they can watch it and tell me how it is. The suspense is killing me.