11 WTF Moments From Last Night’s Episode Of American Horror Story: Freak Show

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It’s officially American Horror Story: Pepper (via)

Last night’s episode of American Horror Story: Freak Show gave me all of the feelings. All of them, I tell you! This season may have been slower than the former three, but HOOOOO-EY did things just pick up. And let me just say, if Naomi Grossman doesn’t get some sort of nomination for her work on this show, then nobody deserves to get an award for anything ever again. That’s how Hollywood works, you know.

I can’t wait any longer, this episode excited me too much. Here we go!

1. When we started the episode on a chipper note: Pepper’s husband, Salty (Christopher Neiman). I didn’t think this would upset me as much as it did, because we saw that he was going to die in last week’s preview. Also, he was such a minor character, that nobody had any time to get invested in him. Naomi Grossman’s performance, though, ensured that we were just as sad as Pepper was.

2. When Denis O’Hare brings Elsa (Jessica Lange) a “telegram” that says a “network president” wants to meet with her about a show. I put all of this in quotes because, honestly, there’s no way it’s real. OR IS IT? Anywho, Elsa ignores it, saying she wants to be there for Pepper in her time of need (awww!). Denis O’Hare is like, “Oh yeah, I totally understand, let me be of assistance.” You know how he assists? HE CHOPS OFF SALTY’S HEAD AND SENDS IT TO THAT DAMN MUSEUM. #worst

3. HOLD ON AHS I’MA LET YOU FINISH BUT LILY RABE IS A SPECIAL GUEST STAR ON THIS EPISODE. Could this be the one that solidifies Freak Show/Asylum crossover??

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4. When three-boobed Angela Bassett pays a visit to Elsa’s tent, and we learn all about Pepper’s back story (finally). Unfortunately, this has to be a cliff notes version because the story is kinda long, so I would encourage all of you to find the clip. Essentially, the reason Elsa started collecting her freaks was because she knew World War II was coming to America, and the only people who could keep circuses running were freaks, or people who were exempt from the draft. The first freak she found was Pepper. She had been left in an orphanage in Boston after her sister could no longer care for her. After spending some time at the freak show, Elsa realized Pepper had quote-unquote maternal instincts. Luckily, an Indian prince was coming to the show with Ma Petite (Jyoti Amge) in tow! Elsa traded the prince several crates of Dr. Pepper for Ma Petite, because #America. Then, when Pepper had a “child” to care for, Elsa realized Pepper wanted a soulmate. So, she found Salty at another orphanage. They had the cutest wedding on the face of the planet and raised Ma Petite like their own child. And then the sad part comes: Elsa and three-boobed Angela Bassett realize that Pepper’s been abandoned (not always willingly) by everyone she loved, and that they need to find her sister to give her some family back.

5. When, after three-boobed Angela Bassett and her mystery boyfriend get a “reading” from a v drunk Emma Roberts, Emma ends up telling Angela Bassett that she and Denis O’Hare aren’t who they say they are. Yeah, that description basically says it all. More on this later. We also get Emma Roberts’ back story, which is kinda interesting, I guess. Basically she was picking pockets to survive, and Denis O’Hare found her and took her under his wing. It would be cute if it weren’t super illegal.

6. When Denis O’Hare visits Evan Peters in jail. Turns out he can’t remember whether or not he murdered all of those ’50s housewives at the tupperware party (even though we all know it was Dandy). Denis O’Hare then tells him not to worry, that he’ll get him a lawyer, and you just know there’s a catch coming. And what a catch it ends up being.

7. When Elsa brings Pepper back to her sister’s (Mare Winningham) house. At first her sister is reluctant to take her in, because supposedly her husband doesn’t know about Pepper, but then she agrees to it. What follows was one of the saddest scenes I’ve seen on this series so far, and only a photo set can adequately describe it.

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This was actually amazing. (via)

8. When Emma Roberts brings three-boobed Angela Bassett to the American Morbidity Museum to show her what Denis O’Hare has been doing. It’s bad enough that we have to see Ma Petite and Salty in preserved jars, but you know what the newest exhibit is? EVAN PETERS’ LOBSTER HANDS. BYE.

9. When Pepper’s sister is at Briarcliff, checking her into the asylum. The crossover is here at long last! Here’s what you need to know: Pepper was checked in under false pretenses. Remember how in the first episode of Asylum, Sister Mary Eunice (Lily Rabe’s character) tells Lana Winters (Sarah Paulson) that Pepper drowned her sister’s baby and cut off its ears? WELL, turns out that it was actually Pepper’s sister’s husband that did that to the baby, under the sister’s instructions. They did it to get Pepper out of their hair, because they’re the worst people ever.

10. When Sister Mary Eunice takes pity on Pepper in the asylum, and brings her to the library to sort magazines. She claims she’ll make Pepper her special project, which actually provides a lot of context for Pepper’s character in the second season.

11. When, at the very end of the episode, we see Elsa on the cover of Life Magazine. The cover claims that she’s the star of Friday night TV, and the issue is dated July 6, 1958. The events of this season (when we’re actually in the present on not flashing backward or forward, at least) take place in 1952. WHAT HAPPENED IN THAT SIX-YEAR GAP? The world may never know. JK, we’ll probably know by the end of the season.

S/o to my girl real quick:

See you all when the show returns on January 7! The freaks will be back in full force, and if that cliffhanger wasn’t enough to keep you watching, then this will: Neil Patrick Harris is in the last two episodes, and he’ll be doing magic, Barney Stinson-style.

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TBH, it’ll probably be more murder-y than this. (via)