Amanda Bynes’ First Step Towards Having LiLo’s Career: The Enabling Parent
Following her DUI arrest this past Friday, it would seem Amanda Bynes has taken the first step (okay, maybe the second) on the road to Lindsay Lohan town: having and/or bribing into existence at least one (1) enabling parent willing to deny that you have a problem even after you've been to rehab for “exhaustion” multiple times.
“She was not drunk,” her father Rick Bynes told People when reached for comment. “I was told that she blew a zero on the Breathalyzer. She didn't have a single drink that night. My daughter doesn't drink.” He explained that the accident was totally the cops' fault for pulling out in front of his daughter, and that they only arrested her because “she was upset and very emotional.” Perhaps to provide some explanation as to why the LAPD would unfairly arrest (and charge) a cute, famous, white girl who hadn't done anything wrong, he added, “She is a good girl. She just chooses not to work, and because of that, people go after her.” You heard right: the cops arrested her because she wasn't making enough teen movies.
This is contradicted by a story TMZ assembled from various “sources” saying that Amanda Bynes had indeed been drinking at the Standard Hotel the night of her arrest, and that she tried to go there again after being released from jail on Friday, but they turned her away because they didn't want to be associated with that kind of nonsense. Furthermore, after her father's denial came out, they assembled these charming video clips of Amanda Bynes acting super drunk. Oops.
Look, Rick Bynes. I know you've only been the enabling parent for a little while (publicly, at least), so I'll offer you some constructive criticism. There's no need to go overboard and say your 26-year-old, former child star daughter doesn't drink at all. A simple denial of the DUI charges would have sufficed. And that part about “choosing not to work”? Not going to catch too much sympathy from the rest of us, who have no choice in the matter. But don't worry, I'm sure you'll do better next time, and your daughter will be on her way to having Lindsay Lohan's career in no time.