Alec Baldwin Has Been Arrested For Disorderly Conduct, Because Duh [Updated]

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Alec Baldwin attending the Oklahoma screening April 2014

In news that will surprise you while simultaneously not surprising you at all, Alec Baldwin has been arrested. For what, you ask? Well knowing him, it could really be anything. But apparently it's not for what you'd think, like punching a paparazzo or wearing the extremely tacky visor that he has on in the arrest photos. Nay nay. According to a bystander he was taken into custody because ‘he was riding his bike the wrong way and didn’t have ID on him.'

Okay let's address that for a moment. This likely means that he was riding his bike in the wrong direction, but I'd really like to imagine that he was riding it fully the wrong way, so please don't ruin this for me. After all, Alec's wife Hilaria is so obsessed with doing yoga at inappropriate times that I can absolutely imagine her giving him some pointers on The 10 Most Beneficial Wrong Ways To Ride A Bike Around The City. What position was he in? Downward dog? Plank? Child? “That's not how you ride a bike sir, and you'll have to come with me!” No wonder he was stopped.

[Update: new details are emerging from a source within the NYPD, who says Alec was given two summonses. One was for riding his bike in the wrong direction, as we mentioned, but the other was for — you guessed it — disorderly conduct.

“He was stopped by officers for riding the wrong way on a street. When the officers asked for ID, he got belligerent because he had none on him. The officers placed him under arrest for disorderly conduct.”

He's been released, and a rep for the actor has already been busy denying all the alleged charges:

“He was not arrested or charged with a crime. He has been released.”

Of course. End of update.]

In Touch has the exclusive story, as well as photos of Alec being put into a squad car in handcuffs. And in case you're wondering why cuffs were necessary, it's apparently because even though he was ‘calm and quiet' when he was put in the backseat, apparently he ‘went ballistic on the cops, screaming at them' earlier on in the interaction. WELL GAWSH! That doesn't sound like Alec even a teensy weensy bit. He's usually so calm and collected in situations like this, I just can't imagine what set him off, other than literally any little thing.

Considering Alec's tendency toward being…um…misheard while screaming epithets (guys, he didn't say ‘faggot', he said ‘fathead'! duh!), I just can't wait to hear what he was actually shouting at the police that they found so very arresting. PUN ABSOLUTELY INTENDED.

(Photo: Brian To / WENN.com)