Thank Goodness We’re Still Aware That Only White People Can Be Sexiest Man Alive
Even though People‘s coveted Sexiest Man Alive title isn't announced until next week, it's already been leaked that the coveted title is probably going to Adam Levine. Good old topical, relevant Adam Levine, who is thankfully the same ethnicity as twenty-six of the past twenty-seven Sexiest Man Alive winners.
This is such a relief, because for a long time, I was worried that People might accidentally chose someone with a non-white skin color for the front of their magazine. There are a great many extremely attractive members of minority groups out there, and I was just plain terrified that this might be the year we acknowledged that. But here's the thing, guys! We're set for a couple more years, because we already gave an African American man the title a whole one time! So stop being so ridiculous!
It was Denzel Washington and it was in 1996, which was only seventeen years ago, you numbskulls! We're set for another ten or so before we have to pretend that there are people out in the world more attractive and alluring than Adam Levine, a man whose career achievements for these past twelve months include verbal sparring with Blake Shelton from a red leather throne, getting into an extremely passive aggressive Twitter feud with Lady Gaga, and getting engaged to Behahti Prinsloo. What a year. His band Maroon 5 hasn't released an album since 2012, but his brief dalliances with models have been well publicized in the media, so I think we can all acknowledge he's more than earned his prize!
And before I wrap up, I do of course have to give kudos to People for their extremely ground-breaking choice. For a while there, they were on a worrying streak of only honoring actors, and I'm glad they finally took a stand and ended it. For twenty-five years, John F. Kennedy, Jr. has been the only non-actor to ever win the title (in 1988), and frankly that's a troubling rut to get into, and it's just not acceptable. We live in a diverse world of actors and musicians and models and butchers and bakers and candlestick makers, and I'm damn tired of it being all actors all the time. Where's your sense of integration? Of inclusion?
So thank you for your brave choice, People. We salute your dedication to diversity in selecting a white musician instead of a white actor.
(Photo: Brian To / WENN.com)