Anyone Else Getting The Vibe That E.L. James Should Just Cast Herself In Fifty Shades Of Grey?

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As someone who can easily pull off almost all 50 shades of grey in one outfit, I'm starting to grow increasingly annoyed with all the casting rumors for the Fifty Shades of Grey movie. Every day we hear another name thrown into the ring and every day we must picture a different actor having wild sex with a different actress.

Frankly, all that sexual visualization exhausts me. Especially when the couplings start getting weird. Like that day when everyone said Oprah's best friend Gayle would play Anastasia Steele and the kid from Blank Check would make his adult acting debut as Christian Grey

And now author E.L. James feels the need to weigh in every rumor and therefore create more rumors with her rumor weighing-in. I mean, there are so many rumors that it's like we're back in the middle school bathroom, creating havoc by spreading lies about our frenemy's skort being a total hand-me-down from her non-virgin sister.

Recently, E.L. James went on Ryan Seacrest's radio show and told him that Ryan Gosling is actually not a frontrunner for the role of Christian Grey.

No, that’s completely misreported,” she says. There were reports that her husband had spilled the beans on her dream casting choice. “What happened is that his local paper, he’s from Northern Ireland, there’s a newspaper there called the Belfast Telegraph that reported on my husband being the inspiration for Christian Grey. Underneath it they put a picture of Ryan Gosling, as well. So, that’s how that came about,” E.L. says. So, does she have anyone specific in mind for the role? “”Maybe. I’m not going to tell you.”

Cool E.L. James. You keep your casting secrets to yourself. Especially since it's getting embarrassingly obvious that you're gunning for those lead roles yourself.

Yes, every time you debunk another casting rumor, it makes me believe that you're narrowing down the field until the producers have no choice but to cast you as both Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey.

Sorry E.L. James. You can have as many periods in your name as you want, but I'm on to you and your casting schemes.

Good luck with the audition. Not that you need it after rigging the entire playing field.