50 Shades Of Grey Skips The Sex Stuff, Just Dresses Christian In Literal Shades Of Grey

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Jamie Dornan shooting 50 Shades Of Grey in Vancouver January 2014I honestly think that this whole 50 Shades Of Grey movie is just to troll us at this point, you guys. That's the only explanation for why so much of it is being done in such a weird, backwards way, right? That or it's being run by actual kindergartners.

How else can you explain the fact that the book came out in 2011 and they're just now starting to film the movie in 2014? Or the fact that it took like twelve calendar months to cast Charlie Hunnam and Dakota Johnson as Christian Grey and Anastasia Steele, respectively, only to have Charlie drop back out almost immediately, a little more than ten months before the movie was due to come out? And now that the release date has supposedly been pushed back to 2015 and filming is actually underway, with Jamie Dornan in the lead role…why are they taking the title so goddamn literally?

I'm pretty sure the name of the book is supposed to be a play on the character's last name and all the different levels of S&M that fall between a loving relationship and an abusive one (I think?), but apparently the producers on this movie have interpreted it as “all gray clothes only gray ones wear gray things”. For example, someone snapped a photo of Jamie jogging while filming a scene, and he's wearing a light gray shirt, dark gray pants, and gray shoes.

YOU GUYS YOU ARE DOING THIS WRONG. There can be colors in the movie, okay? You're focusing on the wrong things! I just hope someone has let them know that there are supposed to be some sex scenes in the film too, and not just different characters wearing clothing in varying shades of gray.

(Photo: Kred / PacificCoastNews)