PARIS HILTON

2/17

So sorry, Paris, but your "Go to Jail, Do Not Pass Go" card is going to come up again in 2008. This time she might have to do 30 days! Her Aquarius, social butterfly ways will be settled for once and for all (or at least, like, a couple month) as she reflect on her party girl ways. Even though she'll probably never fully learn her lesson, she'll have an epiphany come summer about a new legit business plan. Watch out, world!

ASHTON KUTCHER

2/7

We see a rift between the May/December romance of Ashton and Demi in his future. We can't tell yet if it's Demi's cougar-like ways that tip this seemily happy couple into breakupsville, or that playing Mr. Mom to a bunch of step-teens is finally getting to Ashton, but we can see someone getting very hurt in 2008. Either that or we've been punked by the signs.