Next time your parents refuse to let you go to a party on a weekday night, just be glad you're not Madonna's kid. Madge admits that she comes down hard on her 10-year-old daughter, Lourdes, but she's not about to give up her prudish ways. "She doesn’t have it easy. Late-night TV, junk food and mess are not tolerated in my house," Madge tells WENN.

The Material Mom has also laid down the law when it comes to dating. "No boys for [Lourdes] until she turns 18," she says. Really? This from a woman who literally wrote the book on sex and has two videos that were banned from MTV for explicit sexuality.

Another no-no on the Material Mom's list? Tight clothing. "My daughter is going through a phase of wearing jeans so tight she can't bend her knees in them," she tells British Elle. "I have a go at her and say, 'Can't you wear something else? You have a closet full of clothes and you wear the same pants every day. And please wear a belt because I don't want to see your butt crack when you bend over.'" We guess she forgets her own days of wearing a cone-shaped bra.

And Lourdes better keep those low-rise jeans off her bedroom floor, too! “My daughter has a problem picking things up in her room,” Madge once told a British mag. “So if you leave your clothes on the floor, they’re gone when you come home.” (You can afford to do that if you're a gazillionaire!)

If Madonna keeps evolving in this direction, she'll be a nun by Christmas!