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If any of you are crushing on Brody Jenner, we've got some bad news: This guy is a total sleaze! Brody is profiled in the March issue of Details, and we're not liking stuff that went down during his interview. In a dialogue exchange Spencer Pratt (Brody's "manager-slash-publicist-slash-agent-slash-stylist") says to Brody, "Here's what you're gonna do. You're gonna start dating Nicole Richie. And you're gonna get that skinny [bleep] to eat, all right? You are about to become The Guy Who Got Nicole Richie to Eat. Process that [bleep], bro. You'll be, like, a f-ing hero to America."

Yeah, that was Brody's scheme to become famous. And get this: the conversation took place last August -- right when Brody and Nicole started hooking up. Coincidence? We think not.

What's even worse is that Brody is totally proud of his playa status. "Basically, I made it, like, my mission to try to go on a date with every girl on The Hills," he says. He also brags about his ability to bag other celebs, too. "Let's see where Lindsay [Lohan]'s at, get her up in here," Brody told the magazine as he texted Lindsay. (For the record, Lindsay texted him back and met Brody out that night.)

And despite all the vanity and pretentiousness he previously displayed, Brody pretends to be a nice guy at heart -- but we don't buy it at all. "This whole scene, this whole town -- it's so fake," he tells the mag. "It's like a movie set, like my life is a movie set. These people, they all think it's real, but it's not." And in the future, Brody adds: "I wanna meet a girl who has nothing to do with L.A., a nice, normal, real girl."

Right, and Paris Hilton's a virgin.