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"My BFF's BF is a total jerk. Is it OK to tell her that I hate him?"

You Said:
"I've been friends with my BFF since we were in diapers. We've always told each other everything, and I always thought we'd be truthful to one another. But about a month ago, my BFF started dating the biggest player in school. He's a total jerk, and he's totally wrong for her. Plus, he's really mean to me when all of us are together. But she's totally blind to all of his bad traits -- she thinks he's sweet, gentle, and nice. What should I do? Can I tell her that I don't like him? "

We Say:
We had that same problem back in high school. Our BFF was dating this guy who was a complete arse to his GF's friends, but she never noticed because she was in love with him. Eventually, they broke up, but to this day, we've never told her how much we hated him. The truth is, you should never tell your BFF that you don't like her BF (unless he's physically or emotionally hurting her, that is). She's the one in this relationship, not you. And while it really sucks that you don't happen to like him, it's not really your business to get involved in theirs if she's happy. You can't change who she wants to date, but you can stand up for yourself when it comes to her BF being mean to you. We suggest you casually bring up your BFF's relationship and calmly explaining that it really hurts your feelings when her BF gives you an attitude. Remind her that you're not telling her to break it off or cause a fight between them, but that you want to be able to hang with them without having to worry about him ridiculing you. If she seems unresponsive, then just move on and make an effort to hang with her solo. Whatever you do, don't make her think that you're trying to make her choose between you or her BF. Point is, you don't know what's up in a relationship unless you're in it. This guy could have more redeeming qualities than you realize. If you want her in your life, you're just gonna have to accept that they're together, whether you like it or not.

You Say!